you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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