standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
