she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize