put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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