she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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