I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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