Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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