I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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