you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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