Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
