Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
