i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
