if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
