I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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