i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize