I'm really into asian looking animals
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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