Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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