Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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