this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
