He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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