but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
