I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize