God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
