At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
