i would punch a child for taco bell
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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