we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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