why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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