she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
