That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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