Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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