I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize