Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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