I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
operation have a gay friend backfired
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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