Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
