you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
