Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
