I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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