You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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