You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
