you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
