Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
