i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize