you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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