I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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