i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
