The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
