We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This house was built for laser tag.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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