Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
