can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
