Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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