I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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