i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
