Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
