She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
