she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
